Christmas Eve & The Joys of Dog Ownership
Posted by zmann on December 24, 2006
It’s 2:30 in the morning on Christmas Eve.
Why am I awake?
- Is it the fresh sanctions against Iran that are sure to produce fist shaking threats and higher oil on Tuesday?
- Is it the doubling of natural gas bills for the poor Georgians in the dead of winter at the power hungry hands of Putin?
- Am I just hungry?
Oh no, while these are valid concerns they wouldn’t have me up at 2:30 (actually I got up at 2:06) on Christmas Eve.
No, this morning I was wrested from slumber by a fireworks show in my den. My bedroom is down the hall, around a corner and through the kitchen and my bed faces away from the door but nevertheless I could here popping and hissing noises coupled with yellow and white lightning-like flashes.
Given all the clatter, I arose yelling oh (expletive deleted), oh (expletive deleted), oh (expletive deleted) to see what was the matter.
It wasn’t Nigerian rebels. Nor Santa arriving a day early and lighting M80s before the hearth.
It was a den hung thick with acrid smoke just above the heads of my dogs who cowered sheepishly in the corner opposite a flaming electrical outlet. Not one of them admitted to having peed on the outlet but the telltale pool beneath it gave them away.
As my wife calmly handed me the fire extinguisher and urged me to use it on the wall and not the dogs my thoughts ranged from getting my family (except for the dogs) out of the house to how one goes about getting an electrician on the Sunday before Christmas. In the end, the old plank wood paneling never quite ignited and the only loss was the outlet itself and the child safety plugs within which were spat on the floor like some discarded works by Dali.
As I type this now I think about how I don’t have a smoke alarm in that part of the house, how my dogs are likely to be sleeping in the gararge until I can pay someone to take them off my hands but mostly how fortunate my family is tonight.
Good night and God bless. And have a Merry Christmas! We certainly will!